Sherlock Gnomes: Mary J. Blige Can’t Save This Doomed Slog-fest but She Tries (Blu-ray Review)

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SHERLOCK GNOMES brings the fun home on Blu-ray Combo Pack and DVD June 12 from Paramount Home Media Distribution and Metro Goldwyn Mayer Pictures (MGM). Here is my review:

sherlock gnomes bluray

When Gnomeo (James McAvoy) and Juliet (Emily Blunt) discover their friends and family have gone missing, there’s only one gnome to call – the legendary detective Sherlock Gnomes (Johnny Depp). Working together, the mystery takes them beyond the garden walls and across the city on an unforgettable journey to save the day and bring the gnomes home.


Review

The coolest thing about one of the worst animated films in some time (Gnomeo & Juliet) was the incredible Elton John fuelled soundtrack. Everything else — was hot garden soupy trash. I don’t know how a sequel was greenlit and I REALLY don’t know how they managed to assemble such a roster of A-List talent let alone pack the soundtrack with even more wonderful music, but they pulled it off by releasing Sherlock Gnomes.

sherlock gnomes

Johnny Depp joins the shenanigans as Sherlock himself, who is investigating a series of garden gnome kidnappings around the city. Coinciding with this boring story is Gnomeo and Juliet, with a supporting cast of unfunny plaster objects who make even unfunnier jokes, leading to a conclusion you could see coming from a mile away. Hey Sherlock, turn the clue card upside down you stupid ass. Jeeeezus….

sherlock gnomes sucks

I think the idea is cute, seeing these classic tales of adventure and romance brought to life by garden gnomes and re-enacted for a younger audience, but you have to have a script and it should probably be funny too. Just sayin… I don’t remember any jokes that didn’t fall flat on their ceramic asses, but I watched this movie with my kids and they weren’t laughing either. Not once. Through the entire movie. The only thing that really stood out were the songs. There is but ONE highlight in Sherlock Gnomes and that comes via Mary J. Blige with her jawdropping performance of ‘Stronger Than I Ever Was’. I loved it – and it got my three-year old up and dancing. Once again – music is what makes the Gnomes franchise worth visiting (kinda). I just don’t see anything else of substance here considering the script was so bad that it made an 80 minute movie feel like 2plus hours of drudging nonsensical sequences strung together. If you’re a sucker for great music then check out Sherlock Gnomes. Just don’t go in expecting much else, even if you’re a fan of Sherlock Holmes (the references to classic Sherlock tales were cute, but they weren’t enough to save a dreadful slog of a movie).

sherlock gnomes depp

Special Features

I have to give it up for the special features – it’s a way to watch the best part of the movie really quick – the Mary J. Blige musical number. The interviews were all neat as well and I was shocked that they got all of those A-Listers to sound like the enjoyed working on the movie. That in itself is a stunning accomplishment. You get just under an hour of bonus segments which is more than solid for a Blu-ray.

  • Gnome is Where the Heart Is – Go behind-the-scenes with the all-star cast
  • All Roads Lead to Gnome: London Locations in Sherlock Gnomes
  • Miss Gnomer: Mary J. Blige and the Music of Sherlock Gnomes
  • Stronger Than I Ever Was – Enjoy the brand new music video performed by Mary J. Blige
  • How To Draw – Learn how to draw your favorite characters:
  • Sherlock Gnomes
  • Watson
  • Moriarty
  • Goons
  • Animating Sherlock Gnomes – Discover the magic behind the movie’s animation

Rating:

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