Fight to The Death is an ongoing feature where staffers and readers get to vote and explain why one fictional character would be able to kill another. This week’s featured rumble? Tenacious D from HBO’s TV series versus The Lone Rangers from ‘Airheads’ – two fictional bands who will do anything to become rock gods… See who wins this vicious battle to the grave right here.
Keven Votes: Tenacious D
As much as I love Adam Sandler before he became “Adam Sandler”, and as much as I hate to go against a metal Steve Buscemi, there’s just no way in Hell I’d ever vote against ‘The D’. Jack Black and Kyle Gass are one of the greatest musical duos of all time. I’m not even fucking joking, sir. Their HBO series was hilarious and their feature length film had them go toe to hoof with Satan and WIN. It doesn’t hurt to mention that Satan was played by Dave Grohl, which made Satan even more badass than he had any right to be.
If this were a straight physical battle, yes there are 3 Lone Rangers and yes they used guns in the film Airheads – BUT THEY WERE WATER GUNS BRO — SPOILER ALERT. The D is able to explode people’s brains out of the back of their skulls using the power of rock. This shit wasn’t even close. It may have been fun – but it wasn’t close. Get the hell out Brendan Fraser – you’re dead.
Ashton Votes: Tenacious D
For a big dude, JB is surprisingly nimble and agile on his feet. With the ability to dodge physical attacks and place himself in optimal position during combat, JB would be able to use his Rock N’ Roll techniques, as well as his power of a literal mind-blowing voice (albeit if equipped with The Pick of Destiny) to vanquish any foes. There’s also no doubt that Kage contains mystical powers within his guitar playing that’s tapped into while shredding his guitar amongst the heat of battles.
Having defeated multiple demons in their past either by song or with the help of divine intervention, Tenacious D has become very seasoned within the art of war and would not be fooled by the ruse that is the plastic weaponry of The Lone Rangers. If this fight weren’t settled by physical engagement, you could bet that Kage and JB would write an impromptu song, rendering The Lone Rangers useless to the mellifluent sounds, forcing them to bow to Tenacious D, thus surrendering the battle.
Troy Votes: Tenacious D
This is a no brainer, Tenacious D wins this fight 11/10 times. The D have battled demons and the devil and lived to tell the tale. They are highly disciplined and will stop at nothing to achieve their victory. Their rock powers are exactly that, powers that could take down any Airhead and their music is infinitely better.
The Winner is:
Total Points: Tenacious D (5) & The Lone Rangers (0)
For the rules of FIGHT TO THE DEATH click HERE
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