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Baywatch: When Your Best Gag is Zac Efron Playing With a Dead Guy’s Balls… (Blu-ray Review)

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From Paramount Pictures and director  Seth Gordon (Horrible Bosses) comes the bigscreen remake of Baywatch. Starring Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Priyanka Chopra, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach, Hannibal Buress and Rob Huebel with cameos from original stars David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson. Baywatch hits blu-ray August 29, 2017. 

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Lifeguard Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson) and a brash new recruit (Zac Efron) uncover a criminal plot that threatens the future of the bay.

Review

21 Jump Street. So that’s the benchmark for raunchy big screen comedies adapted from cheesy 80’s and 90’s sitcoms? Apparently yes – by a mile, because Baywatch is bullshit. It won’t seem like bullshit right away though, no no no. In fact, much of the film is funny, action-packed and seemingly normal — for the first half hour. That’s when it begins to morph into something that both pays homage to the original series and makes fun of it at the same time… I think? There are hundreds of moments where I wasn’t sure if Baywatch was supposed to be stupid by design, or if it truly was that bad by accident. Think of this film as a two-hour, R-Rated lost episode of the original series where the characters were re-cast.

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Mitch (Dwayne Johnson) is the leader of this group of lifeguards who wind up investigating a rash of murders and drug deals taking place on his bay. Yes he’s investigating murders and trying to uncover a criminal conspiracy, despite constant reminders from the local authorities that HE’S A LIFEGUARD. It’s in those kinds of moments where I feel Baywatch is actually poking fun at its source material, but then there are times during the dialog choices and action sequences where I’m not so sure everyone is actually IN on the joke anymore…

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Director Seth Gordon did an admirable job on the low-brow comedy hit Horrible Bosses, so I expected more from Baywatch, especially since the cast is stellar. Zac Efron can be hysterical (see the Neighbours movies) and The Rock can do no wrong in my opinion. But… the tone was so out of whack that I didn’t know if I was watching something in the vein of The Naked Gun, Wet Hot American Summer or even Hot Shots… Except, Baywatch never really pulls the trigger and just goes for it like those films, which results in half-laughs, forced laughs and uncomfortable tired laughs because the extended cut runs two freaking hours… When your movie’s best gag is Zac Efron playing with a dead guy’s balls, then you should probably rethink your life choices.

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Special Features

  • Meet the Lifeguards
  • Continuing the Legacy
  • Stunts & Training
  • Deleted & Extended Scenes

Rating:

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