Jeffrey Long

SAN ANDREAS QUAKE (2015): The Latest Mockbuster By The Asylum [B-Movie Review]

The Asylum is a low budget production company that’s infamous in the B-Movie world, mainly for their mockbusters – low budget rip-offs of big budget theatrical movies – such as Snakes on a Train, Transmorphers, Android Cop, Road Wars, Avengers Grimm, and Atlantic Rim (aka, Attack From Beneath) just to name but a few. However, they also put out just as many original titles as well, ones like Age of Dinosaurs, 2012: Ice Age, Battledogs, the Mega Shark movies, 2-Headed Shark Attack, Blood Lake, and of course the pop culture phenomenon that is the Sharknado series.

I have to admit, as far as guilty pleasures go, Asylum-made movies is at the top of my personal list, as I just have a ton of fun with them. Sure, acting is atrocious, CGI effects groan-worthy, painful dialogue, and errors within the script that could fill a barge. BUT, bottom line is they are fun to me, and really, that’s the main thing I look for in my B-Movies.

ZOMBEAVERS (2014): With A Title Like That You Know Exactly What You’re In For, And It Delivers [B-Movie Review]

Jeffrey Long reviews May 20, 2015June 1, 2015Reviews, Zombeavers 0 Comment

Every once in awhile, even when you live the majority of your movie-watching life in the B-Movie realm, you still come across one movie here and there that sounds and looks so…unbelievable… that you think to yourself with a laugh “There is no way this can actually be real.” Assuming that it was just a Funny or Die style parody video, I never gave the Zombeavers trailer a second thought for that very reason It was so outlandish, so corny, so tongue-in-cheek, and so bizarre that I figured it just couldn’t be real and was just some parody mock trailer at the time. But then when I started seeing more and more buzz online about it, and realized it was actually a real upcoming movie, well I knew I had to get onto that bandwagon as soon as I could.

And Zombeavers did not disappoint.

AREA 51 (2015): Oren Peli’s “Latest” Found Footage Should Have Stayed Abducted [B-Movie Review]

Jeffrey Long reviews May 18, 2015June 1, 2015Area 51, Reviews 6 Comments

Oren Peli should be a familiar name to most people reading this review. He’s the mastermind behind the Found Footage frightfest that is the original Paranormal Activity, in addition to the short-lived but fun ABC Found Footage horror TV show The River, and the god-awful Chernobyl Diaries.

AVENGED (2013): I Spit On Your Grave Meets The Crow in This Gritty Supernatural Revenge Flick [B-Movie Review]

Jeffrey Long reviews May 11, 2015June 1, 2015avenged, Reviews 2 Comments

Movies like Avenged is exactly why I love the modern day Video-on-Demand release outlets such as Itunes and the like. A movie such as this would never find its way to a wide theatrical release and if it was just even ten years ago it probably would have never even been made at all. But Itunes, Vudu, and all those style of Pay-to-Watch sites provide an amazing VOD outlet for great low budget genre titles like this to premiere at and find a home on.